One may think the issue of infidelity is a major crisis of unseen proportions. The fact is this behavior is as old as relationships themselves. Unfaithfulness isn't new nor are the specific issues causing it. So basically we just suck at them. We start out infatuated and end up infuriating. Same sex relationships are not excluded from these lapses of shortcomings. No one is immune to heart ache and no one is immune to the lack of focus relationships require. Unfaithfulness bares many fruits, lack of respect, trust, passion, harmony. While these are the fruits the root of the problem is, being unhappy but the seeds are little acts of being unfaithful. A stare too long, a smile, the touch of your hair, a wandering mind. These are seeds of unfaithfulness.
Have you been in a long term relationship and found yourself wanting more? Are you now stuck in a dual life of relationships? Have you wandered into something and don’t know how or why? Let’s try to pin point the real issue here. Perhaps you found yourself considering other individuals to fill a void that only you can fill. Perhaps you longed for your knight in shining armor or your queen to help rule the kingdom. Perhaps he or she has been there the whole time.
Stepping out of a relationship usually isn’t the answer. This usually leads to prolonging the problem of the real issue at hand. If your partner truly has a desire to love you and takes great effort to secure your love than you must look at yourself. Are you easily drawn to attention? We will attempt to help you breakthrough this situation.
First, when the flame seems to be dwindling away this is not the time to let your emotions overtake you. Did you become interested in the possibility of a new partner simply because they flirted with you? Do you notice yourself intrigued with their charming personality? At this point, you’re just likely suffering from an identity crisis than you are suffering from a bad relationship. Be careful not to confuse the differences. One must always self evaluate your emotional state and overall role in a relationship.
Secondly, there is a misnomer that maybe effecting your outlook in the current conditions. Perhaps, you heard it said, if they don’t make you happy you should find another. I challenge both partners to look within and create or in some cases recreate the passion you dreamt of. Happiness is an individualized component to one’s own happiness. Imagine what you want and introduce and execute it with and on your mate.
Faithfulness has these same attributes. Like happiness, one’s faithfulness is not dictated by the others faithfulness. If we are waiting for one to be faithful in order for us to be faithful, the continual cycle of unfaithfulness and unhappiness will continue. That recourse is staging the utter doom of any chance of a salvaging the relationship. You maybe asking why I have merged happiness and faithfulness together? For one, both of these are usually comprised of small gestures that very often get slighted by the daily routines of everyday life. However both are paramount in forging a successful bond. You must, on purpose, stop and smell the roses you have both planted. For example, you're now encountering each other on a daily basis and only dealing with life's external pressures, you both can easily skew the image you have of your partner. Be mindful of this and begin to communicate your desires with each other. Love is a
continual fire. But remember, even a burning fire needs fresh wood placed in it to continue burning.
Now on to the why, faithfulness equals happiness. An unfaithful person can not and will not know the true happiness that comes from completely loving another individual without a need of return. This happiness is produced from an ongoing collection of these small acts. Faithfulness renders and establishes a currency that only the giver understands the value of. This individual is creating and determining their partners value to themselves, as they execute these acts of faithfulness. The small acts are often done without them present. For instance, when someone approaches you and you explain, you're taken. This also creates a happiness within. You become pleased with your own self control and conduct. No out-side source can produce this. The value this brings to you and your partner is beyond measure. You literally determine their worth in your reality and the passion produced can consume the both of you all over again.
Practicing faithfulness also produces respect, pride, loyalty, creativity and it’s all directed toward the one you truly love. You begin to value your investment. Be mindful, people watching from the outside will want what you're giving someone. They won't necessarily understand how you got there, but they'll want it for themselves. So much so they'll attempt or shall I say tempt you to devalue your investment.
If you do notice your partner's eyes wandering, this can be a sign of confusion occurring. But the sign is not the time to fight about it. That is the time to passionately capture your partners mind once again. Don’t demand they stop. Demand their attention using other means. Simple unannounced getaways with the intent of seducing them somewhere along the way. In a park, in your car, somewhere unexpected. Wear a sexy lingerie piece under your casual over looked sweats. This is so they'll know you planned this just for them. You never want them feeling neglected. Remember the importance of communicating to find out each other's new desires. Don't take it for granted you know them. You might be surprised to find out that they're feeling just as deprived of affection as you are? Maybe thoughts of adventure and the taboo are beginning to mentally stimulate them. Initially, trying something new may spark some concern. So I suggest, preliminary discussions before any new spontaneous sexual behavior takes place. We don’t want our partners worried of where these ideas came from. It is extremely important to know what your partner likes and dislikes. Realize these things change. Especially if you've been together for many years. They've probably changed a lot. In relationships roles often change. You should be flexible, adaptable and ready to embrace change. By now all these small purposeful gestures of intimacy and attention, all add up to a highly valued relationship. No one wants to lose in anything they've personally invested in.
Don't give up on your labor of love without a serious fight. Enjoy perfecting these practices. As they say, practice makes perfect.
We wish you paradise in your minds
and passion in your hearts.